Pamper Your Bike with Wipes

pamper your bike featured image

Pamper your bike, it deserves a regular gentle and thorough clean of all those delicate and hard to reach areas. Show it some love by cleaning it up with baby wipes.

cleaning hope 20Five rim with baby wipesbaby wipes to clean the bikecleaning hope hubs with baby wipes

And…for sore bottoms?

I’m not looking to plug Pampers baby wipes for their original intended purpose here, just the opposite in fact. Let me explain…..

We cyclists know the importance of cleanliness in our own delicate and hard to reach nether regions, particularly me, as a veteran of Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Details of this charming condition and it’s relationship to my cycling activities will be the subject of other posts from time to time. For now though suffice to say it requires a lot of bum wiping ‘in the field’! Often that wiping  is over sore skin, Pampers wipes contain something, I know not what, that hurts like hell on sore skin.

Many a baby suffering from nappy rash will have had it’s bot wiped with Pampers, by a parent who has the very best of intentions. In fairness to the makers of Pampers wipes I gave them an opportunity to respond to the findings of my field research and they didn’t reply. So, on behalf of babies everywhere I shall shout “NOOOO DON’T  you DARE come ANYWHERE NEAR my SORE ARSE with THAT!!!!” A fair comparison would be to take a fresh lemon and squeeze out the juice onto some nice fresh road rash…..really sore!

So, Pampers, great for cleaning bikes – grotty for bottoms.

Other brands of wipes are benign in operation and come in a nice pocketable pack.

nivea wipes for cyclists bottoms

I think it’s well worth having a small pack about your person, as prophylaxis against a sore bum, if you are the sort prone to needing a field pooh.

I feel a brand name coming on. How about- “Adventure Biker’s Patent Field Cloth”  Hmmmm, could be the beginnings of an Empire…….

Happy Wiping.